Time works its magic .. there enters a new person in my life .. the anticipation of a partner .. of welcoming her into my world and cherishing the journey .. the magical days when your entire world and thoughts revolves around her .. the euphoria called love .. getting excited about a silly coincidence, like we both love coffee or movies or traveling or discussing beautiful homes? .. fixating on details like this and attributing powerful meaning like fate to simple coincidences.
Welcome to the world of mine
walk in to the heart of me
step into share my life
Welcome to be a better part of meTread softly on this fragile land
soothe the pain with your tender heart
plant the seeds of love on this barren land
Watch it bloom with colors in your eyes
- an excerpt from the poem "To Her, From Me", Oct 1997
the heart believes in longevity of the relationship .. hoping it will sustain and reach milestones like 25 .. although artificial and just a number it seems but beneath the surface, it speaks to the stickiness of the relationship .. the feeling of being able to live together with shared differences .. the euphoria of being together for a long time .. until death do us apart .. ingrained in the brain and it wants that .. no matter what squabbles happens on a daily basis, the relationship can only strengthen with time, so I thought ..
Two strangers on a chariot tread an invisible path
Pulled in many directions by five horses starting at sabbath
Held firmly by the delicate rod of lust working its math
Masked with the sheath of love that age hathThe horses admiringly know the game
Ego, white and beautiful stays uncontrollable as her name
Desire has its moments sweet and dark with no shame
Money is the silent one that does the tugging to seek fame
The mannered Goals and value refusing to play others gameMany seasons interject the rank
The rain, the shine all plays the prank
Wild Thunder sneaks in unannounced to tank
Giving way to a beautiful road and a clear bank
- an excerpt from the poem "25", May 2019
and how wrong was I? .. the relationship soon devolved into trouble .. maybe the expectations were high .. the chaotic environment outside always fighting the quiet inner world .. at times my mind wanders and ponders on "what could be" .. what if I had done something differently, will my story have had a different ending? .. the what if's is a nasty, unforgiving loop .. never satisfied, never happy, never providing a right answer .. it is a one way street to depression ..
Time my love, has played a cruel joke
Bringing us together on the dreams of hope
Leaving the souls today, standing alone and broke
With our own wretched demons to cope
- an excerpt from the poem "Dreams of Hope", Jan 2015
now time beckons answers to long forgotten questions .. time helps me evolve into a new person .. time finds a satisfying middle ground to the crumbled relationship .. time .. has more questions with no satisfying answers ..